How to Have a Tough Conversation

When we think of a tough conversation, we might think of someone getting scolded, confronted, or even fired. And in the world of healthcare, where I develop physicians’ leadership skills through J3P Healthcare Solutions, a tough conversation can center around the very high stakes of life or death.

While no one traditionally enjoys tough conversations, they’re necessary for growing ourselves and others. Here are some recommendations I often share with clients:

1. Reframe your mindset around tough conversations.

We need to reframe our mentality towards difficult discussions with others. All of us must understand that feedback is a gift. Our responsibility as leaders and human beings is to deliver that feedback in an effective way.

2. Your ability to communicate is as important as the feedback itself.

There will be many times in our personal and professional lives when we have to deliver a message that we know won’t be received well. In these circumstances, it’s up to you, the leader, to master your ability to provide feedback productively and helpfully for the recipient. View the feedback as a way to support the other person’s development. It will help soften the edges of whatever you’re trying to communicate.

3. Tough conversations are easier when trust is present.

When you invest in building a relationship with another person, tough conversations down the road become much more impactful and streamlined. You should think beyond job titles and instead view the people in your life as human beings. If you lead with vulnerability and meaningfully connect with others, they’ll be much more receptive to feedback down the road, positive or otherwise.

I believe that tough conversations have been mislabeled, particularly through the lens of leadership. Lead with compassion, establish trust, and I assure you that difficult discussions will become more accessible.